I have been a follower of Jesus for over a year now, and it has had some interesting twists and turns.
The world is split. Those who follow Jesus, and those who do not.
I have been on both sides of the spectrum. I spent my life up until my senior year of high school as an agnostic. I was angry towards Christians because I felt they were all talk. I soon learned differently when my life was crashing down, and the only people there to show me love were Christians.
Now I know God better, and I understand how ignorant I was.
Not everyone has had the same "no way this could be anything but God, my life is changed forever" experience I have had.
The people who speak out of ignorance are just one of the challenges we face as Christians. This series will talk about many different things we deal within a daily basis.
Thereis a war going on for our souls. Satan will use any means necessary to win.
Be prepared.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Define Me
I am a compilation of many different things.
I love sports. I am a nerd. I am funny (thats what I tell myself at least). I am SO many different things.
I am a lot of good things, and a fair share of bad ones.
I am very self critical.
I have a very low opinion of myself. It comes from years of being told many times how I was worthless. It comes from years of rejection from everybody I knew.
Its not fun.
My point?
We have a choice everyday. I can listen to the people who are wrong and evil, and let them control my view of myself. Accept lies for truth, and be torn down.
Or
Accept that God has made me perfect the way he wanted me to, and I serve a great purpose.
This is an issue that I know many people struggle with. They allow satan and society to pull them down. To take away from their full potential.
They let satan win.
We need to take the time to see that God loves us and he has made us beauiful. We need to accept that he made us perfect the way we are.
We don't need to starve ourselves thin. We don't need to do this or that to change ourselves.
We just need to accept Gods love truly.
He loves us so greatly, that he thought of each and every one of us when he sent his son to die on the cross for our sins.
He wouldn't do that for someone who was not worth it.
So SMILE!
Because God loves you, and you are beautiful.
I love sports. I am a nerd. I am funny (thats what I tell myself at least). I am SO many different things.
I am a lot of good things, and a fair share of bad ones.
I am very self critical.
I have a very low opinion of myself. It comes from years of being told many times how I was worthless. It comes from years of rejection from everybody I knew.
Its not fun.
My point?
We have a choice everyday. I can listen to the people who are wrong and evil, and let them control my view of myself. Accept lies for truth, and be torn down.
Or
Accept that God has made me perfect the way he wanted me to, and I serve a great purpose.
This is an issue that I know many people struggle with. They allow satan and society to pull them down. To take away from their full potential.
They let satan win.
We need to take the time to see that God loves us and he has made us beauiful. We need to accept that he made us perfect the way we are.
We don't need to starve ourselves thin. We don't need to do this or that to change ourselves.
We just need to accept Gods love truly.
He loves us so greatly, that he thought of each and every one of us when he sent his son to die on the cross for our sins.
He wouldn't do that for someone who was not worth it.
So SMILE!
Because God loves you, and you are beautiful.
Friday, November 11, 2011
But He Told Me
I was scared of spiders, and my mom said "Dont be afraid"
I was scared of school, and my brother said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of bullies, and my friends said "Don't be afraid"
I grew and I grew. And the more I saw the more I knew, That I was scared.
I was scared of women, and my buddies said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of people, and my doctor said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of the pain, and I told myself "Don't be afraid"
I walked out that door and walked right to a new life. I was still scared.
I was scared of illness, and my adopted family said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of college, and my mentor said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared to stay, and my friends said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared to die, and just as scared to live
And my jesus said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of school, and my brother said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of bullies, and my friends said "Don't be afraid"
I grew and I grew. And the more I saw the more I knew, That I was scared.
I was scared of women, and my buddies said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of people, and my doctor said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of the pain, and I told myself "Don't be afraid"
I walked out that door and walked right to a new life. I was still scared.
I was scared of illness, and my adopted family said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared of college, and my mentor said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared to stay, and my friends said "Don't be afraid"
I was scared to die, and just as scared to live
And my jesus said "Don't be afraid"
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A Whole New World
Aladdin. Its a good movie. Its the staple of any healthy Disney diet that can be handled by the pallets of young and old alike, and when well complimented with a side of Finding Nemo can sate the appetite of any person hungry for Disney movies.
(I simply could not resist the urge to put as many references to food in there as possible. One should not write on an empty stomach.)
Aladdin is a thief, and jasmine is a princess. So if you look at the picture with a non-Disney view of the situation, hes never, ever, ever (to the 10,000 power multiplied by 1,000,000) going to get the girl. Her dad would forbid it, he would never be able to be in her presence to meet her, and he would probably be concerned with the more important things in life (like not being killed by those pointy things the guards are carrying).
In addition to all of this, she probably thinks that he is the scum beneath her feet. They come from completely different backgrounds, so its alright if they resent each other for their differences, right?
A different approach to this is a guy from the south who loves country music, and a guy from a northern city that loves hip-hop. One calls the other hick, the other calls the one a city-slicker. (alright, I realize that the term "city slicker hasn't been used in society for over a decade or by anyone under 40, just roll with it).
Another angle, a Christian and man who has never known God.
I know a lot of people who have called christian hypocrites for their judging everybody saying that they are stuck up perfectionists with double standards. While I have also known Christians to judge others as unworthy because they sin.
God calls to another standard. One that he shows us how to do.
He meets us at where we are at. Whether that is 10% or 99% God is there meeting you with open arms.
We all grow up in different situations, have different backrounds, like different things, have different opinions, dress differently, or speak different languages.
This is a lesson I have had to learn. before I knew God, I called Christians hypocrites. And then once I became Christian, I still have judged others.
When I first came, I was upset with people here at York. They were rude, openly talked about sex and drugs, and used foul language. As time went on though, I realized that I was just as bad they were for judging them.
In the bible Jesus eats and shows love to sinners.
Mark 2:15-17
Later that day, Jesus ate at Levi's house. There were many tax collectors and other bad people eating there with Jesus and his followers. There were many of these people that followed Jesus. The teachers of the law (they were Pharisees) saw Jesus eating with these tax collectors and other bad people. They asked Jesus' followers, "Why does he (Jesus) eat with tax collectors and sinners?" Jesus heard this, and he said to them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor. It is the sick people that need a doctor. I did not come to invite good people. I came to invite sinners."
Fortunatly I have learned my lesson and I am growing more into the man God wants me to be.
So we can follow society, judge the book by its cover, and judge others because they are different. Or we can live to Gods standard, show them the love whether or not we want to.
No matter who they are, what they do, or where they come from, Meet them where they're at.
God Bless.
(I simply could not resist the urge to put as many references to food in there as possible. One should not write on an empty stomach.)
Aladdin is a thief, and jasmine is a princess. So if you look at the picture with a non-Disney view of the situation, hes never, ever, ever (to the 10,000 power multiplied by 1,000,000) going to get the girl. Her dad would forbid it, he would never be able to be in her presence to meet her, and he would probably be concerned with the more important things in life (like not being killed by those pointy things the guards are carrying).
In addition to all of this, she probably thinks that he is the scum beneath her feet. They come from completely different backgrounds, so its alright if they resent each other for their differences, right?
A different approach to this is a guy from the south who loves country music, and a guy from a northern city that loves hip-hop. One calls the other hick, the other calls the one a city-slicker. (alright, I realize that the term "city slicker hasn't been used in society for over a decade or by anyone under 40, just roll with it).
Another angle, a Christian and man who has never known God.
I know a lot of people who have called christian hypocrites for their judging everybody saying that they are stuck up perfectionists with double standards. While I have also known Christians to judge others as unworthy because they sin.
God calls to another standard. One that he shows us how to do.
He meets us at where we are at. Whether that is 10% or 99% God is there meeting you with open arms.
We all grow up in different situations, have different backrounds, like different things, have different opinions, dress differently, or speak different languages.
This is a lesson I have had to learn. before I knew God, I called Christians hypocrites. And then once I became Christian, I still have judged others.
When I first came, I was upset with people here at York. They were rude, openly talked about sex and drugs, and used foul language. As time went on though, I realized that I was just as bad they were for judging them.
In the bible Jesus eats and shows love to sinners.
Mark 2:15-17
Later that day, Jesus ate at Levi's house. There were many tax collectors and other bad people eating there with Jesus and his followers. There were many of these people that followed Jesus. The teachers of the law (they were Pharisees) saw Jesus eating with these tax collectors and other bad people. They asked Jesus' followers, "Why does he (Jesus) eat with tax collectors and sinners?" Jesus heard this, and he said to them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor. It is the sick people that need a doctor. I did not come to invite good people. I came to invite sinners."
Fortunatly I have learned my lesson and I am growing more into the man God wants me to be.
So we can follow society, judge the book by its cover, and judge others because they are different. Or we can live to Gods standard, show them the love whether or not we want to.
No matter who they are, what they do, or where they come from, Meet them where they're at.
God Bless.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
More than a dream
I have wasted so much of my life already. I have followed other people, listened to their wisdom, dreamed and lived their dreams. My voice has been their voice.
My dreams have never been my own.
My voice has never been my own.
And now im at york college. I don't have the dreams and voices and others telling me what to do.
Im kinda lost.
When I accepted christ as my savior I accepted a new life living for him.
Not for my dad, for my guidance counselors, or my friends.
He has called me to so much more than to spend my life chasing around dreams i dont really care for.
I want to tell you my dreams.
I dream of paying professional soccer, of turning my faith into a book so i can share it with others, i dream of singing in a band, and being the lead in a play.
I love sports and the arts. I have never been to excited about school. I cant stand science, math bores me, english is fun, and history is cool. But my time is best spent out of the classroom.
Granted in order to make my time outside of the classroom most effective i need to do well in it.
With all that being said. I have spent so much of my time doing what others tell me they think i should do.
This has ranged from being a teacher, to a youth minister, to being a waste of space (thanks dad).
I havent looked into what God has put on my heart, or the strenths he has given me.
I love writting. I was the sports editor for two years and then the editor in chief of my high school paper "The Echo". I loved writting opinion pieces. I also helped write (and perform in) a one act musical performed by my high school.
I spent all of high school being a theater "techie", and my senior year i built up the courage to be in plays. I was in a musical and a comedy.
I love reading, writing, acting, and playing soccer. Right now im only ever playing soccer.
Its time that i take the talents God has given me and put them to use for him.
I want to end with these two verses that i am thinking about with all of this.
God Bless.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
Romans 12:6-8
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
My dreams have never been my own.
My voice has never been my own.
And now im at york college. I don't have the dreams and voices and others telling me what to do.
Im kinda lost.
When I accepted christ as my savior I accepted a new life living for him.
Not for my dad, for my guidance counselors, or my friends.
He has called me to so much more than to spend my life chasing around dreams i dont really care for.
I want to tell you my dreams.
I dream of paying professional soccer, of turning my faith into a book so i can share it with others, i dream of singing in a band, and being the lead in a play.
I love sports and the arts. I have never been to excited about school. I cant stand science, math bores me, english is fun, and history is cool. But my time is best spent out of the classroom.
Granted in order to make my time outside of the classroom most effective i need to do well in it.
With all that being said. I have spent so much of my time doing what others tell me they think i should do.
This has ranged from being a teacher, to a youth minister, to being a waste of space (thanks dad).
I havent looked into what God has put on my heart, or the strenths he has given me.
I love writting. I was the sports editor for two years and then the editor in chief of my high school paper "The Echo". I loved writting opinion pieces. I also helped write (and perform in) a one act musical performed by my high school.
I spent all of high school being a theater "techie", and my senior year i built up the courage to be in plays. I was in a musical and a comedy.
I love reading, writing, acting, and playing soccer. Right now im only ever playing soccer.
Its time that i take the talents God has given me and put them to use for him.
I want to end with these two verses that i am thinking about with all of this.
God Bless.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
Romans 12:6-8
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Monday, October 10, 2011
Im Seeing Double
A double standard is where we have expectaions for ourselves that differ from our expectations of other people.
We live in a society of double standards.
To name an obvious one; if a girls sleeps around she is titled a "slut" or "whore". If a guy sleeps around he is considered a "player" and given a pat on the back.
On the other hand, if guys look at a woman even slightly lustfully they are labeled a "pervert". But its ok for women to look at guys without the same consequences.
To move topics, swearing is also one. People who say the f-word, b-word, or one of many other four letter words are considered "potty mouths". If you say crap, darn, or one of many other "golly gee whiz shucks" kinda words with the same conotation its alright.
Wrong!
Other examples: porn is wrong, but movie sex scenes are alright. Hitting others is wrong, but hitting your kids or wife is alright. It's a long, long list.
If you have double standards in your life than you are lying to yourself and everyone else.
God knows the truth.
He has set a perfect standard unlike the standards of society. His standard is perfect.
He calls us too this standard.
A perfect example of double standards are the pharisees of Israel. They held everyone to an almost impossible standard that they didn't live up to. They judged but did not love.
Jesus came and set the record straight.
We are sinners who fall short of the glory of God, and can only be saved through him.
Work on your faith. Hold others accountable through love and not judgement. That means living to the same standard.
Live how Jesus lived.
Matthew 7:1-5 ESV
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
We live in a society of double standards.
To name an obvious one; if a girls sleeps around she is titled a "slut" or "whore". If a guy sleeps around he is considered a "player" and given a pat on the back.
On the other hand, if guys look at a woman even slightly lustfully they are labeled a "pervert". But its ok for women to look at guys without the same consequences.
To move topics, swearing is also one. People who say the f-word, b-word, or one of many other four letter words are considered "potty mouths". If you say crap, darn, or one of many other "golly gee whiz shucks" kinda words with the same conotation its alright.
Wrong!
Other examples: porn is wrong, but movie sex scenes are alright. Hitting others is wrong, but hitting your kids or wife is alright. It's a long, long list.
If you have double standards in your life than you are lying to yourself and everyone else.
God knows the truth.
He has set a perfect standard unlike the standards of society. His standard is perfect.
He calls us too this standard.
A perfect example of double standards are the pharisees of Israel. They held everyone to an almost impossible standard that they didn't live up to. They judged but did not love.
Jesus came and set the record straight.
We are sinners who fall short of the glory of God, and can only be saved through him.
Work on your faith. Hold others accountable through love and not judgement. That means living to the same standard.
Live how Jesus lived.
Matthew 7:1-5 ESV
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Any place but york
Since the end of soccer season last year I have had a question lingering in my mind. one i have struggled with a lot. Should I leave York college to go somewhere else.
There are places with more money, better scholarships, better soccer programs, better everything.
And i have struggled with this. At times i had my foot halfway out the door. Then God Slammed that door in my face this week.
When i was in in high school i had depression that i couldn't get through. All i could think of was the crap going on. When i found Christ, it got much better. I was maturing and growing, and my faith was growing and maturing. This past summer though, my faith started starving. for the first time i missed church more than 3 weeks in a row. I wasn't reading my bible, or praying constantly. i had lost a lot of the things that connected me with God. So all i had was my job at walmart and my roommates. So i started a bit of a downward spiral. I was having anger issues. Anger that i didn't understand or know why it was there. My roommates where the unfortunate victims of this. fortunately they understood and worked with me.
So going into the new school year i was having anger issues and some depression issues. I had starved myself and was having "God withdrawal". And as preseason progressed things got worse. I became incredibly self critical of my soccer playing. I am a naturally reflective and critical. The difference? I was very negative. Outside of soccer things were not going so well either. I had friends stab me and the back, and friends just stop talking to me.
I was crashing. Hard.
So things were getting better. I got through the crap going on, but not unharmed. I had slipped back into my depression. I couldn't shake the sadness. And then last Sunday it hit rock bottom. at 1 in the morning i had a freak accident where a stall door crashed on my foot, so i had to get stitches. I got back from the ER at 3 am and went to sleep. I did not get up for church, which irritated me. I was supposed to go to Lifewalk with my friends. Then at 1:30 in the afternoon i head to get ready for our soccer game.
I told coach that i couldn't play. I was physically unfit. He agreed and said i would suit up "just in case". Five minutes before kick off he tells me I'm starting. I was concerned. i was hurting and wouldn't be at 100%. 25 minutes into the game we were down 3-0. it was bad, our whole team was playing bad. So coach pulled me for our other keeping. Getting off the field i was pissed. I felt full of shame and embarrassed for being pulled in front of our home crowd.
Bad stuff happens when I'm pissed.
I swore. I said it was bull-. And then coach and i had a short back and forth and i then said it again.
Bad idea.
Awful idea.
He told me to leave the stadium.
The walk out is the longest walk i have ever had. I couldn't shake the feeling of shame. At the same time i had just potentially ruined everything. I am at york because of my soccer scholarship. I don't play soccer, i don't go to York. I cant afford it.
I questioned whether life was worth living for the first time in years.
I was on the edge of giving up. I was broken. I had messed everything up.
I wasn't gonna give up though. I never give up.
So i did what was right. I made amends, with coach, and with God.
I ended up with a one weak suspension from soccer. It was one loooong week.
But a great one.
God spoke to me in a very obvious way. He wasn't going to let this go to waste. People around me picked me up. They told me to keep my head up high. They showed compassion and caring that i had not felt very often. People who i wasn't even close with had my back. They were supporting me, they cared. I know now the reason I am here. And i will never leave. York is my home, York is my family, God spoke to me through York.
I am blessed to be here. In this past week my faith has be rejuvenated, and my depression melted away.
God is Good.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
There are places with more money, better scholarships, better soccer programs, better everything.
And i have struggled with this. At times i had my foot halfway out the door. Then God Slammed that door in my face this week.
When i was in in high school i had depression that i couldn't get through. All i could think of was the crap going on. When i found Christ, it got much better. I was maturing and growing, and my faith was growing and maturing. This past summer though, my faith started starving. for the first time i missed church more than 3 weeks in a row. I wasn't reading my bible, or praying constantly. i had lost a lot of the things that connected me with God. So all i had was my job at walmart and my roommates. So i started a bit of a downward spiral. I was having anger issues. Anger that i didn't understand or know why it was there. My roommates where the unfortunate victims of this. fortunately they understood and worked with me.
So going into the new school year i was having anger issues and some depression issues. I had starved myself and was having "God withdrawal". And as preseason progressed things got worse. I became incredibly self critical of my soccer playing. I am a naturally reflective and critical. The difference? I was very negative. Outside of soccer things were not going so well either. I had friends stab me and the back, and friends just stop talking to me.
I was crashing. Hard.
So things were getting better. I got through the crap going on, but not unharmed. I had slipped back into my depression. I couldn't shake the sadness. And then last Sunday it hit rock bottom. at 1 in the morning i had a freak accident where a stall door crashed on my foot, so i had to get stitches. I got back from the ER at 3 am and went to sleep. I did not get up for church, which irritated me. I was supposed to go to Lifewalk with my friends. Then at 1:30 in the afternoon i head to get ready for our soccer game.
I told coach that i couldn't play. I was physically unfit. He agreed and said i would suit up "just in case". Five minutes before kick off he tells me I'm starting. I was concerned. i was hurting and wouldn't be at 100%. 25 minutes into the game we were down 3-0. it was bad, our whole team was playing bad. So coach pulled me for our other keeping. Getting off the field i was pissed. I felt full of shame and embarrassed for being pulled in front of our home crowd.
Bad stuff happens when I'm pissed.
I swore. I said it was bull-. And then coach and i had a short back and forth and i then said it again.
Bad idea.
Awful idea.
He told me to leave the stadium.
The walk out is the longest walk i have ever had. I couldn't shake the feeling of shame. At the same time i had just potentially ruined everything. I am at york because of my soccer scholarship. I don't play soccer, i don't go to York. I cant afford it.
I questioned whether life was worth living for the first time in years.
I was on the edge of giving up. I was broken. I had messed everything up.
I wasn't gonna give up though. I never give up.
So i did what was right. I made amends, with coach, and with God.
I ended up with a one weak suspension from soccer. It was one loooong week.
But a great one.
God spoke to me in a very obvious way. He wasn't going to let this go to waste. People around me picked me up. They told me to keep my head up high. They showed compassion and caring that i had not felt very often. People who i wasn't even close with had my back. They were supporting me, they cared. I know now the reason I am here. And i will never leave. York is my home, York is my family, God spoke to me through York.
I am blessed to be here. In this past week my faith has be rejuvenated, and my depression melted away.
God is Good.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
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